| So you are going to have a baby!! The time is | | | | charge nurse on duty and request another nurse. |
| approaching and you are beginning to think about | | | | While it is not always possible to get a new nurse, |
| WHO is going to be present for the big event. Will | | | | it's worth the try. |
| your mother be there? Your best friend? Your | | | | Your doula: |
| partner/husband? Did you hire a doula? What will | | | | Doulas are not just for women who want to "go |
| your nurse be like? What midwife/doctor will be | | | | natural," they can be a valuable asset in any birth |
| on call? | | | | room. Like your prenatal provider/birth attendant, |
| While to some these may seem like simple | | | | it is important that you meet your doula BEFORE |
| questions, for others they cause extreme stress | | | | labor starts. It's important to choose someone |
| and anxiety. Regardless of how the question | | | | who you feel comfortable with. You want a doula |
| makes you feel, it's important to acknowledge, | | | | that is going to respect what YOU want, without |
| the wrong people can create conflict in your birth | | | | trying to push her values and beliefs about birth |
| room while the right team can create harmony | | | | onto you. You want a doula that has the skill to |
| and peace. | | | | speak up for you without alienating the staff at |
| There are two primary categories of people who | | | | the hospital. Nurse/doula relationships can create |
| make up your birth team; your health care | | | | some of the biggest conflicts. Be sure to |
| providers, and your family and friends. The | | | | communicate with both the nurse and the doula |
| ultimate goal is a winning team where Together | | | | to make sure they are a part of YOUR team, |
| Everyone Achieves More, and where they work | | | | not in a competition. |
| together to create a conflict free birth room filled | | | | Your family and friends: |
| with peace, happiness and love. | | | | Some women feel obligated to let everyone into |
| Let's take a quick look at the people who will be | | | | their birth room. Some of the relationships that |
| on your team: | | | | have the potential to create the biggest conflicts |
| Your midwife/doctor: | | | | for women include in-laws and friends, especially |
| If it is very important for you to KNOW the | | | | friends where you may have been present for |
| provider who will catch your baby, you want to | | | | their labor and birth. The fact that you may have |
| be sure you pick someone in solo practice or | | | | been present for her birth does NOT mean she |
| choose a group with only a few providers. Make | | | | has to be present for yours. Those wedding |
| sure you are able to meet everyone of them | | | | party "rules of etiquette" don't have any place in |
| more than once during the prenatal period. Keep in | | | | labor and delivery. This is a very different |
| mind, everyone needs a day off, so even with a | | | | experience and should be treated as such. It is a |
| solo practitioner there is the off chance that your | | | | private event and should include only the people |
| provider may be unavailable. However, if this is | | | | you REALLY want to be present. During labor and |
| VERY important to you, you can minimize the | | | | birth, much of you may literally be exposed. |
| chances of having a "stranger" in your delivery | | | | Everybody does NOT need to be there. |
| room if you choose the right provider prenatally. | | | | Labor and birth is not a spectator sport. Yet |
| If it is important to have your provider present | | | | when you have lots of visitors during the process |
| throughout your labor, providing support and | | | | just "waiting for the baby," this is what your |
| encouragement, be sure to talk to them EARLY | | | | precious birth experience has the potential to turn |
| in your pregnancy about your wishes to | | | | into. When you are trying to work with your |
| determine if she/he is the right provider for you. | | | | contractions or rest after an epidural, the last |
| Generally speaking, if you really want your | | | | thing you need is your family and friends standing |
| provider to give you labor support you should | | | | around "speculating, and watching." |
| choose a midwife. While not every midwife | | | | To avoid making these decisions during labor, be |
| provides labor support, a midwife is much more | | | | sure to have these discussions with your partner, |
| likely to be with you in labor when compared to a | | | | mother, in-laws, friends and doula BEFORE labor |
| physician. | | | | ensues. An easy way to avoid some of the |
| It's important to remember, you cannot wait until | | | | conflict is to keep your "I'm in labor" phone calls to |
| labor starts to choose the right provider for your | | | | a minimum. After you have the baby and you |
| labor and delivery team. This is a process that | | | | have had time to rest, THEN you can make all |
| MUST begin during pregnancy. Your birth | | | | the calls you want. |
| attendant is an integral part of your team and | | | | After delivery, you will want to rest and spend |
| you want to be sure you are happy about your | | | | some private time bonding with your newborn. |
| choice. | | | | Encourage your friends to come over to your |
| Your nurse: | | | | house AFTER you are home. You will feel more |
| If you will be birthing your baby in a hospital, your | | | | like normal and be more open to visiting. As a side |
| nurse will be a critical part of your birth team. She | | | | note, ask friends to come bearing edible gifts!! |
| will likely spend more time with you than anyone | | | | Who has time to cook with a newborn baby! |
| else. Not every nurse is the perfect fit for every | | | | While they love us the most, family and friends |
| woman, but with a little patience and open | | | | are often the ones who create the most conflict. |
| communication, you can make the relationship | | | | Be careful about who you choose to invite/allow |
| work. Know what you want, and be prepared to | | | | into your birth space. |
| discuss it with your nurse upon admission. A | | | | When it's all said and done, you are the captain |
| written birth plan is not required. It's more | | | | and your partner is the co-captain of your birth |
| important to know what you want and to have a | | | | team. Together you have to decide what other |
| CONVERSATION. With open communication, your | | | | team members will help you win. Be sure to |
| nurse can become your biggest advocate. There | | | | choose wisely because your birth team can have |
| are times when you and your nurse are not a | | | | a profound effect on your birth experience. |
| good fit. If this happens, you can ask for the | | | | |